four more months to go and that old familiar tune will ring inside my ear again. for sure, this time, there'll be teardrops unlike the previous one.
four more months to go and i still don't know what lies beyond. i guess this is what my friends are telling me exactly few weeks back. while i've told them that i'm getting the jitters for the remaining months, they've told me that it's not the four months that bother them but the months after: the work and the life without school.
once, my bizjrn prof asked: sino ba sa inyo ang magiging journalists?
silence befell the classroom.
one hand raised, hesitatingly.
seriously, why am i thinking about work? gaaah! is this pre-mid-life-crisis crisis?
IJ. i chatted with roman, who incidentally became my seatmate after a groupings' count off. he told me he'd take law school with leozelle at ateneo.
good for them. they know exactly where to go to after school. bad because it's school again.
worse for me. i don't know where i'll go. worst, i don't seem to like the idea of going back again after 12 years of being imprisoned there.
status:
hit me when the red lights are about to end.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
grandpas remebered (plus oprah)
unlike any other families, our november first and second are always happy. it's my sister's bday every first and my older cousin's every second. even though, they're only few guests dahil wala silang bisita--kasi nga abala ang mga kaibigan nila sa pagbisita sa mga nitso ng mga kamag-anak nila.
because of that, we we're raised with proper recognition of holidays: 31st is halloween, nov. 1st is all saints', 2nd is all souls. no overlapping.
tomorrow, we'll be visiting my father's father at the holy cross underground cemetery sa novaliches. medyo malayo. doon kasi lumaki si itay. and sad to say, lolo tinoy died when my dad was only 7, i guess, matured enough to be fatherless. heart attack killed him.
my mother's father naman, ayun, he's always with us. he was cremated at the chinese cemetery. he died of reason(s) i don't know. yeah. my lolo juan was a chain-smoking drunkard--admit it, lolo. you were. ang dami ng complications kaya ayun, deads kagad.
he's death was not a nice scene. his body weakened before my eyes as years passed. he was a protestant but he had the sacrament of anointment of the sick conferred by a catholic priest. i wasn't there when it was given to him. we had classes then. but my mother said lolo was crying--an uncalled for reaction given that he was nearly deaf.
during his deathday, sadly, no one even saw his last breath. ang naaalala ko na lang noon is we went back to our house to take a bath and rest when suddenly my tita called up crying. she asked ate to bring her nursing gadget: the one you use to check the heart beat. when we got there, ate did her thing. tapos ayun, she cried. ok. he's dead.
when lolo juan died, of course everybody was wailing, especially noong pinasok na si lolo doon sa chamber where he was afired. my tito needed to restrain my mother kasi kulang na lang, ipapasok ni mommy yung sarili niya doon. haha!
my grandparents (mother's side) did not have a nice and romantic husband-wife relationship. but when lolo died, i saw how lola weakened. ganun pala yun. kahit hindi mo kasundo yung better half mo nung buhay pa siya, may kick pa rin pag wala na. time suddenly fastforwards; everything's healed.
so what does this got to do with oprah. no, i don't watch oprah nor i don't buy his flavor of the month books. it's just that there is that one quote that i really fell in love with (the underlined, bold one) i tried to find it in the net. and surprisingly, i saw the larger part of it.
okay, you can try to connect it with the one topic na sobrang pasong-paso na sa araw na 'to: love. pero the whole of the quote is universal.
Leaving a love you've suddenly outgrown can be heartbreaking but it also shows you are strong enough to walk away from a relationship that no longer makes you happy. Moving out of your comfort zone can be downright scary but it also proves just how brave you are to take on the unknown. Stronger, braver, wiser. You always do a little growing up everytime you do a little letting go.
i don't know who come up with it but i'm named after my two grandfathers: juan (mother's side) and constantino (father's side). put them in english, you've got my name: john constantine.
so please for the record, i wasn't named after the guy from hellblazer. okay.
because of that, we we're raised with proper recognition of holidays: 31st is halloween, nov. 1st is all saints', 2nd is all souls. no overlapping.
tomorrow, we'll be visiting my father's father at the holy cross underground cemetery sa novaliches. medyo malayo. doon kasi lumaki si itay. and sad to say, lolo tinoy died when my dad was only 7, i guess, matured enough to be fatherless. heart attack killed him.
my mother's father naman, ayun, he's always with us. he was cremated at the chinese cemetery. he died of reason(s) i don't know. yeah. my lolo juan was a chain-smoking drunkard--admit it, lolo. you were. ang dami ng complications kaya ayun, deads kagad.
he's death was not a nice scene. his body weakened before my eyes as years passed. he was a protestant but he had the sacrament of anointment of the sick conferred by a catholic priest. i wasn't there when it was given to him. we had classes then. but my mother said lolo was crying--an uncalled for reaction given that he was nearly deaf.
during his deathday, sadly, no one even saw his last breath. ang naaalala ko na lang noon is we went back to our house to take a bath and rest when suddenly my tita called up crying. she asked ate to bring her nursing gadget: the one you use to check the heart beat. when we got there, ate did her thing. tapos ayun, she cried. ok. he's dead.
when lolo juan died, of course everybody was wailing, especially noong pinasok na si lolo doon sa chamber where he was afired. my tito needed to restrain my mother kasi kulang na lang, ipapasok ni mommy yung sarili niya doon. haha!
my grandparents (mother's side) did not have a nice and romantic husband-wife relationship. but when lolo died, i saw how lola weakened. ganun pala yun. kahit hindi mo kasundo yung better half mo nung buhay pa siya, may kick pa rin pag wala na. time suddenly fastforwards; everything's healed.
so what does this got to do with oprah. no, i don't watch oprah nor i don't buy his flavor of the month books. it's just that there is that one quote that i really fell in love with (the underlined, bold one) i tried to find it in the net. and surprisingly, i saw the larger part of it.
okay, you can try to connect it with the one topic na sobrang pasong-paso na sa araw na 'to: love. pero the whole of the quote is universal.
Leaving a love you've suddenly outgrown can be heartbreaking but it also shows you are strong enough to walk away from a relationship that no longer makes you happy. Moving out of your comfort zone can be downright scary but it also proves just how brave you are to take on the unknown. Stronger, braver, wiser. You always do a little growing up everytime you do a little letting go.
i don't know who come up with it but i'm named after my two grandfathers: juan (mother's side) and constantino (father's side). put them in english, you've got my name: john constantine.
so please for the record, i wasn't named after the guy from hellblazer. okay.
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